


A Second First Time

by GovernorKristique



Series: Spliced [6]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Intimacy, Love, Ownership, Pain, Passion, Regret, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GovernorKristique/pseuds/GovernorKristique
Summary: Joan asks Vera to help her understand words and images that have come to mind. She gladly helps, until Joan asks her to explain a symbol that makes her heart wrench.Can Joan and Vera find their way back to each other?
Relationships: Vera Bennett/Joan Ferguson
Series: Spliced [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020913
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	1. Black Ink

It had been a full week before Vera could privately visit Joan again. When she’d returned to Wentworth after a short-lived maternity leave, she had been working regular hours. Lately she tried to pick up a couple of night shifts if she could so she could visit Joan. She was tired, but she appreciated getting to spend the daytime with Grace, and her sweet baby girl usually slept well enough throughout the night. She was coming around to the idea of Jake taking on more parental responsibility, but she felt better knowing Grace wouldn’t need much more than a bottle or two throughout the night when Jake looked after her.

Vera expected to find Joan asleep as she quietly opened the door to her cell. It was late, and Linda told her that the other prisoners had been relentlessly tormeting Joan all day. Wide awake, she sat on her bed in her teal sweater and a pair of basic black underwear with her leg propped up on the chair as she rubbed lotion into her calf. Vera noticed that her toenails were painted a soft lilac colour. It was endearing, but so uncharacteristic of the previously tough woman.

Joan looked up and greeted Vera with a smile. She put the bottle of lotion aside and rubbed the remainder into her hands as she got up. She pulled Vera into a warm hug and kissed the top of her head. “I missed you,” she whispered. Vera rested her cheek on the taller woman’s chest as she breathed in her comforting scent. “I missed you too,” she mumbled into the soft fabric. 

Joan pulled away and held Vera’s hands. “I was wondering if I could show you something,” she asked as she bit her lip. “Of course,” Vera smiled encouragingly. “Dr. Miller suggested I keep a journal, and write down any words or pictures that come to mind that I know are familiar, but can’t explain. He said I’ll probably think of phrases, songs, or images before I recall full memories,” she explained. “I have a few things I’ve written down over the past week, and I was wondering if you might be able to tell me if you know what they mean?” she asked.

“Of course,” Vera stood on her tippy toes to give Joan a peck on the lips. They sat on the bed together leaning against the wall. Their bodies barely fit the width of the mattress. Joan flipped open to a page that had a few things written down. Vera smiled as she glanced at the first one “my little mouse’-my nickname for Vera”. Joan grinned playfully, “that’s my favourite one,  _ myshka _ ”.

“So the first word that came to mind was ‘Korsakov’. It sounds Russian, but do you know what it means?” she inquired. “That’s the name of the town you were born in,” Vera replied. “I don’t know if it translates to anything though”. Joan nodded studiously as she jotted down some notes. “Well that’s encouraging! I was worried it would mean something silly, like ‘toaster’ or something,” she chuckled. “Okay the next word was ‘foil’. Please don’t tell me I was a tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist,” she laughed as she gave Vera a playful shove. “Definitely not, but I’m not sure what it means right off the bat,” Vera thought for a moment as she tried to figure out what it meant. “Oh! I think a foil is a type of fencing thing? You were an excellent fencer,” she replied. Joan nodded, “ah yes that makes sense. Although I can’t imagine myself swinging swords around these days…” she mumbled as she wrote in her journal.

“The next one was a number. 823?” she stared questioningly. “That was your old house number,” Vera confirmed. “Okay, got it,” Joan scribbled away. “Next, ‘Alexandria’. Do I know an ‘Alexandria’?” she asked. “You might, but I’m not aware of anyone. Alexandria’s also my middle name,” Vera smiled as she kissed Joan on the cheek. “Aw that’s lovely,” Joan said softly as she wrote it down. “And the last one seems a bit mysterious to me. It was like a...black bird, or a crow sitting on a branch?” 

Vera felt a lump in her throat as she looked down. “Oh no Vera...I’m sorry. Is it a sad memory?” Joan asked as she closed the notebook. She searched Vera’s face trying to understand why she was so upset. Vera stood up. “I’m sorry Vera, please don’t leave-,” Joan started. “It’s not a crow. It’s a raven,” Vera said softly as she kicked off her shoes and unbuckled her belt. Joan watched in confusion as the young woman let her slacks fall to the floor and stepped out of them. She stepped forward with her left foot and swivelled her ankle to expose her inner thigh. A small, but detailed tattoo of a beautiful raven perched on a cherry blossom branch adorned her olive skin. Joan peered into the artwork with intrigue as she traced the outline of the branches. “This is beautiful Vera,” she sighed “does it mean something special to you?” She looked up and tried to understand the sadness in the younger woman’s eyes. Vera avoided looking at Joan as she slowly nodded. “It symbolizes you. While it wasn’t a nickname, I always told you that your dark and sophisticated beauty reminded me of a raven,” she said softly. 

“Oh…” Joan whispered. “That’s lovely,” she smiled quietly. Vera just nodded, unsure of what to say. “Vera...if this represents me, then...why don’t I have a tattoo for you?” she asked, afraid of the answer. “Are you sure you want to know? It might be hard for you to hear…” Vera responded. Joan’s lower lip quivered as she nodded quickly. “Yes. I want to know. I can handle it. I’ll have to eventually...” she said.

“Well, um, things weren’t always...equal in our relationship I guess. You tried your best to open up to me but I don’t think you  _ fully _ trusted me. It was...complicated. You loved me the best way you knew how, but I think you were always afraid that I was going to leave you,” she trembled as she tried to explain. 

Joan’s heart wrenched as the pieces came together. “Vera did I  _ ask _ you to do this?” she asked as she stroked the tattoo. “Yes, you did…” Vera nodded. “But why?” Joan whispered. Vera swallowed, “well, you said that you needed assurance that I would always be loyal to you. You wanted me to prove my dedication to you with something permanent. It was illegal for us to marry at the time, and to be honest I don’t think you would have wanted that. So, I got this,” she finished. Joan was speechless. How could she force the woman she loved into  _ branding _ herself? If she loved Vera so deeply, why couldn’t she trust that her love would last? 

“Look closer,” Vera softly instructed Joan. She leaned in to examine the piece. “In the wings,” Vera whispered. Joan searched the dark ink, unsure of what she was looking for. It took a few silent moments, but she saw it. Hardly visible to an undiscerning eye, there was a J etched into one wing, and V etched into the other in dark grey calligraphy.

“I can’t imagine how you must have felt...I’m so sorry Vera. You must have deeply resented me for this,” Joan looked down as she gripped the edge of the mattress. Vera thought for a moment, “mmm...there were a few times you’d throw it in my face when we fought. You said that if I ever left, I would still be marked by you no matter how hard I tried to get you out of my head. That hurt,” Vera nodded softly. “But you also loved that I did this for you. For one, you said it gave me a sexy edge,” she smiled playfully “but after I got it, you gradually let your guard down. You trusted me. You were able tell me you loved me without hesitation or fear. You let me see you,  _ all  _ of you. We still had our problems of course, but the anxiety, the possessiveness, and the barriers melted away. You just...loved me. Simply and genuinely,” Vera smiled and looked down at Joan through misty eyes. Joan joyfully returned her gaze as Vera played with a strand of her hair. 


	2. A Second First time

Joan felt a warmth in her heart as she softly stroked the tattoo. Vera gently lifted her chin and leaned down to graze her lower lip. Joan wrapped her arms around the small of Vera’s back and held her close as she drowned in Vera’s loving mouth. When they broke their embrace, Joan adorned the tattoo with soft kisses as she ran her warm hands over Vera’s hips. As her lips touched her delicate skin, the younger woman sighed while shivers ran down her spine. She felt loved and safe. Her cheeks became warm as she felt a gentle heat rising between her legs. She was breathing harder when her lover pulled away. The women locked eyes, breathless, each of their chests rising and falling in the intensity of the moment. Both nervous, and somewhat scared, but wanting. Joan stared into Vera as she ran her hands up the back of Vera’s thighs to her backside. She could smell the desire emanating from her small white panties, and it was intoxicating. Joan felt a pulse in the heart of her femininity as she was drawn to Vera’s heat. She broke their gaze and kissed Vera through her tight underwear. Vera gasped in pleasure as she placed her hand on the back of Joan’s head. Joan stood up urgently and her lips crashed into Vera’s. The women gripped each other tightly as they lost themselves in passion.

Joan pulled away and admired Vera’s deep blue irises. She held Vera’s hands, lacing their fingers together. “I want you Vera,” she whispered. “I want all of you”. 

Vera slowly unbuttoned her jacket. She pulled her shirt off over her head, and gently lifted Joan’s teal sweater off too; the white undershirt went with it. She reached behind Joan to unhook the older woman’s bra, as she whispered “I want all of you too”. 

Joan shuddered in anticipation as her bra fell to the floor. Vera softly kissed her chest and let her hands explore the full breasts before her. Joan stepped back as Vera followed, and the Russian beauty laid back in her bed. She looked at Vera with such admiration and love as the younger woman straddled her. She leaned down to passionately kiss her lover, alternating between her mouth, her cheeks, and her neck, leaving nowhere untouched. She sat back and slowly took off her bra as Joan watched. “You’re so beautiful my darling,” the raven whispered to her mouse.

Joan pulled Vera closer as her small breasts hovered above her. Joan softly took her nipple in her mouth and massaged it with her tongue. Vera slowly ground her hips into Joan as she became more and more aroused. Her peaks grew hard as Joan’s gentle tongue swirled around each mountain of sensitive flesh. “Oh Joan…” she whispered. 

“Mmm my name sounds so sweet in your mouth…” Joan mumbled as she kissed Vera’s chest. 

Vera moved down as she rubbed Joan’s breasts and caressed her nipples between her fingers. Vera flicked her tongue across each nipple and gently blew on them. Joan arched her back as she allowed herself to enjoy every sensation, breathing deeply as a rush of warmth settled between her thighs.

When Vera’s tongue had explored every inch of the busty woman’s soft breasts, she trailed her fingers along Joan’s inner thigh. “I want to touch you Joan…” she whispered. The older woman felt a nervous flutter in her stomach as her younger lover waited for her permission. “Is that okay?” she prompted. “Yes Vera...I’m just a little nervous. I’ve never done this before...” she sighed. “Well, not that I can remember,” she smiled sadly as she traced Vera’s bottom lip with her finger. 

“That’s okay, I’ll go slow,” Vera promised as she kissed her soft belly. She lightly ran her finger over Joan’s panties, slowly tracing her slit as she listened to the radiant woman’s soft moaning at her touch. She pressed a little deeper, massaging the fabric into Joan’s wet cunt. She grazed the soft skin between her panties and her thigh as she admired the way Joan bit her lip in pleasure. 

Vera kissed the raven-haired woman’s hipbones as she slowly pulled her underwear down her long legs. She tossed them away and placed her beauty’s calf on her shoulder as she slowly kissed her way back to the wanting cunt before her. Joan shivered as her skin tingled at her lover’s gentle lips. Vera kissed her mound and revelled in the deliciously familiar scent, inviting her to taste. She wrapped her arms around Joan’s strong thighs as she lightly ran her tongue from her entrance up to her clit. Joan gasped as her hips raised to Vera’s mouth. Her moans were soft, and strangely feminine and high pitched. Nothing like the deep guttural moans of the former Joan Ferguson. She almost sounded like a young virgin sensitive to the new sensations of intimacy for the first time. 

Vera tenderly drew circles around her clitoral hood with her tongue as she stroked the shimmering wetness along the inside of her folds. “Oh Vera…” the older woman gasped as she dug her elbows into the bed to steady herself. “I want you inside me,” she tremored. Vera carefully eased one finger into her slick entrance as she pressed her tongue deeper into her pulsing clit. “Go slow...please…” Joan whispered breathlessly. Vera obeyed, and gently pushed in and out, curving her finger to reach her most sensitive spot. Vera had never made love to Joan like this before. It was slow and sweet, and she relished every beautiful moment of it. She gently eased a second finger in as Joan’s heartbeat quickened. She gracefully rocked her hips as the pressure began to build. “Oh god…” she gasped as Vera licked deeper. “Mmmm…” she moaned with urgency. Joan’s face was tense, it almost looked like she was in pain. Vera noticed and paused to whisper to her love “let go for me beautiful”. She darted her tongue back into Joan’s clit as the gorgeous raven relinquished control. She breathed heavily as she came undone at Vera’s touch. Vera slowed her tongue as the woman rode out the waves of pleasure crashing in her core. The smaller woman gently pulled out as she gave the glistening cunt a last deep kiss. 

She cuddled up next to Joan as she stroked the brunette’s bouncy curls. “God you’re beautiful Vera,” Joan whispered lazily as she kissed her. Vera smiled, “I love seeing you like this. Peaceful, serene. Satisfied,” she grinned mischievously. “I just hope I can make you feel half as good,” Joan smiled shyly, biting her lip. “You will Joan,” Vera kissed her cheek. “Next time. But for now, go to sleep. You look absolutely spent,” she whispered. 


End file.
